"You are my steady state."

I posted that last Friday as my Facebook status. Here's the back story.

It was the last day of the Engineering Opening Week. As always, the culminating evening is always a party in some club... totally not my thing. However, this year at the back of my mind, I wanted to go because he was going. But nooo... forget it bitch, he's most likely attending because of that model he's been drooling for a year now. (Yes, I'm that bitter.) <fiftyshades> But my subconscious knew better and told me not to let my emotions get the better of me. I stood by my decision not to go.

I was lazy to return home on that Friday afternoon so I grabbed the chance to go with Jonathan and company because he had a car. He was going to the party so it was decided that he would drop me off at Quezon Avenue. My subconscious nodded at this clever ploy.

However, others were trying to convince Julian to tag along. He then said that he would only go if he can ask permission at home. So we ended up embarking the Katipunan route which threw-off my plans. I would go with them until the venue before treading home. My subconscious was exasperated, especially since Jonathan was pestering me to attend.

So I half-jokingly asked him if he would pay for my ticket. I knew he would bid me good-bye the instant I asked that question. But to my surprise, he and Jethro agreed to pay for my ticket. Now all I had to do was say yes.

I glanced behind me and see my inner goddess nodding intently. "Go for it", she says while waving her pompoms. "I know you want to. I know that all this time you're dying to be with him." My subconscious snarls at my inner goddess, but she completely ignores her.</fiftyshades>

And there I was, thinking that I've moved on. I've been pretending not to see the feelings slowly creeping back right after I got over Mr. Endlessly-Fascinating. No matter how high the spikes, the peaks, the crests and troughs of that transient response, it slowly goes back to that steady state... him.

Labels: interludes, palaka