"...I was hopelessly boring and she is endlessly fascinating."

I remember this statement 2 years ago. He was still an applicant back then and posted this in one of his social networking accounts. Of course, almost everyone knew that he was referring to someone he liked back then... his co-applicant. They shared the same interests, were always together at the tambayan... heck, they even looked like sibblings. It was inevitable that they would end up together. Everyone, including me, thought they would be an awesome and cute couple... We commented hearts in their pictures and status messages, and would make them do and say stuff that would make us fawn over them even more.

And sometime later, they finally became a couple.

I liked her. She was an interesting person. Everyone was intrigued and even intimidated by the way she spoke. As for me, I was more surprised during her final interview. There was a question she answered unexpectedly and I realized that she would eventually become an important person in the near future. However, things changed and I ended up taking her place due to her certain circumstances. Yet, she still worked hard and managed to be very reliable. I was very impressed with her.

"But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous..." 

I never told anyone this (except for Allen, who probably has forgotten this by now), but I had a crush 2 years ago. It wasn't too serious. He just caught my eye several times. Asides from being a bit of my type, he had an unusual hobby, or rather...  he was unusual himself. When it came to application requirements, he had a weird way of complying with them. And maybe that just stuck to me. But the feelings just lasted a few weeks. I don't know if it completely had something to do with her, but voila, it vanished.

And I don't know... Maybe it's just the vulnerability that goes along moving on from another person. You tend to fall quickly for anyone who'd show you a bit of affection. And bam, there it goes again. That painfully exciting roller coaster ride.

And that's what happened. Roughly two weeks ago (May 23. hoho), it's him again... being weird. And it's wrong. It's wrong that I'm having this kind of feeling. He's still taken, after all. Maybe it's fine as long as I stay away from this person. Maybe it's fine if I content myself with just short conversations, and smiling at his silliness, nothing else. And maybe this will eventually go away just like before.

But it'll be difficult, because he's just endlessly fascinating. I have no other words to describe him but that.

Labels: ♥, interludes