Just had my first Sec meeting as the division head and there are still a lot of things I have to get used to.

There are a lot of habits that need to be broken, like misplacing my phone and/or ignoring it the whole time. Which reminds me... I just scanned the room to look for that phone. It's behind me, thank goodness. Texts cannot be ignored. The phone must always have load and battery and should never be in silent mode. I have to learn how to GM and reply ASAP. I have to learn the intricacies of following up and delegating tasks: making sure to get the needed results without bordering on being too annoying, bossy and repetitive.

My email inbox is now never empty. I have to check my mail as soon as I get home, check FB updates, check if org highness or other div highness-es need anything done. Update people from time to time.

There's also the authority. Younger batches now address me as boss, sometimes including a matching hand salute. They offer me a seat, give way when there's no space. They now take me seriously and always consider my opinions. I feel very awkward every time they do that. Even while the Sec meeting was taking place, I was not standing at the long table's edge like how it's supposed to be. I was seated with the rest. I'm just not used to the so-called power I now have.

There's also the difficulty of being a good influence to others. Gone are the days of procrastination and non compliance if one does not want to be the cause of "Eh bakit sya, pa-ganyan-ganyan lang?". And there's the fear of letting people down. I've always been a people pleaser, though not a very good one. What if I can't keep up when classes begin? Can I handle the pressures and deadlines?

But then, I see people appreciating and noticing our efforts, being excited for the work we're about to do. My members have been awesome and active lately, quick to respond, taking the work they've been given, keeping constant communication, rarely complaining, always cheering and so on.

And as cheesy and as cliche as it sounds, everything becomes worth it :)

Labels: cogitations, sec